


Half Awake

by grantaired



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: College AU, F/M, Modern AU, but i don't want to spoil it, ghost au, i'll add tags as it goes along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-18 01:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantaired/pseuds/grantaired
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not scared?" Bellamy moved closer, sending a chill through Clarke's veins.</p><p>"Never have been," her breath faltered. "Never will be."</p><p>"Brave princess," he taunts.</p><p> </p><p>AU: bellamy is a ghost, Clarke is alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i'm looking for a place to start

_2011, Brookline, Massachusetts._

Raven Reyes threw her hair up in a messy ponytail and waved goodbye to her boss as she walked out of the shop. She had been working as a mechanic to save money for college all summer, and she almost had enough to cover her first semester at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

She ran down to the red car parked at the store’s entrance, and threw herself in the passenger seat, planting a kiss on the driver’s cheek.

“Good day?” Finn Collins smiled brightly at his girlfriend.

“It’ll be even better if you let me drive this baby home,” Raven rubbed her hands together, looking longingly at the steering wheel.

“I don’t know why you love this car so much, it’s just a hunk of junk,” Finn mumbled as he let Raven maneuver her way into the driver’s seat. Finn painstakingly squeezed himself past her into the opposite side.

“It’s not a hunk of junk, she just needs a little tuning up, and then she’ll be a stunning vintage car, just you see,” Raven said and began to drive the car down the street.

“It’s an old jeep. How can a jeep be stunning?” Finn questioned.

Raven shook her head at him. She turned onto a side road.

“We’re going to your house?” Finn asked. They hardly ever went to Raven’s house. She didn’t exactly have a wonderful family relationship, and she generally tried to avoid the beaten down old home.

“Just for a minute, I need to pick up a few things if I’m going to stay at your place this weekend.” She drove the car slowly as they moved deeper into the neighborhood.

“Do you think Bellamy’s home? I feel like we haven’t seen him in ages. Wanna pop by his place and invite him to have dinner with us tonight?” Raven asked.

Finn grunted, he had never been much of a fan of Bellamy.

“What the hell?” Raven mumbled as they approached the Blake residence. There were nearly a dozen police cars outside, and officers were moving in and out of the house. Raven pulled the car up against the curb with a screech, and ran out of the car, leaving Finn behind to take out the keys.

“What is all this? What’s going on here?” Raven asked the nearest officer. He turned to look at her, sizing her up.

“Who are you?” He asked, hesitant to reveal any information.

“I’m Raven Reyes, I live just three houses down. I’m Bellamy’s friend,” she watched the officer make a face when she said that.

“You know Bellamy Blake?”

“Yes.”

“His mother, Aurora?”

“Not really. I mean, I’ve heard Bellamy talk about her. But I’ve never met her. Is she okay?” Raven was beginning to really worry.

The officer looked at the ground and coughed. “What about Octavia Blake? You know her?”

“Octavia? Is that a cousin or something? I’ve never heard of her. Can you tell me what the hell is even going on here already?” Raven balled her hands into fists when Finn came back to stand beside her.

“Hello officer, I’m Finn Collins, can you please just explain the situation here? Raven has a right to know, she’s his neighbor, and if this,” Finn waved his hands at the commotion all around them. “Is going to continue for any length of time, then you really should explain it to everyone living around here.” Finn tried to speak calmly and reasonably but Raven could tell he was almost as nervous as she was.

“There’s been quite the situation going on at the Blake house,” the officer began, unable to look in either of their eyes. “Aurora Blake as you may know, has some mental illnesses, and she had been having a hard time dealing with it lately. She had been doing a lot of hard drugs, and we have reason to believe she may have been dealing as well. We had an undercover officer encounter her while she was soliciting prostitution. We came to raid the house after we heard about the drugs, and well, we found a lot more than we had been expecting.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Where is Bellamy?” Raven practically hissed at the officer.

“Aurora was much sicker than we originally believed. We discovered a fifteen year old girl hidden locked in the basement. She says her name is Octavia Blake and she is Aurora’s daughter. She said her mother has been making her hide in the basement her entire life. She’s never left it. She’s never even talked to anyone besides her mother and her brother. We are still looking for many answers here, we hardly know anything, let alone why she had been trapped there for her entire life, and we don’t even know if we’ll be able to get any answers anytime soon,” the officer finished.

Raven seemed almost unable to speak. Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“When will we be able to speak to Bellamy?” he asked.

“You won’t,” the officer answered. “He wouldn’t let any of the officers enter the basement, and he attacked one of our officers. He was shot and killed. So was Aurora.”

“No,” Raven whispered. “That’s not possible, no, no. No. No!” Raven began to cry, crumpling to the ground under Finn’s arms.

___  
_Richmond, Virginia, 2015._

Clarke shoved the last box into the moving van, before thanking the driver with a smile and tip.

She walked down to her mother’s car and sat down in the passenger seat, wrapping a duvet around herself and fluffing up a pillow to put behind her head.

“Make yourself comfortable, we’ve got quite the drive ahead of us,” Abby Griffin said as she moved out of the driveway of Clarke’s childhood home for the last time.

“I still don’t understand why you’re selling it,” Clarke mumbled, trying to find her headphones.

“It’s pointless for me to live alone in this big house when you’re going to college. It’s a lovely house, and I’ll never forget our memories in it, but it’s time to move on. Time to be practical,” Abby gently explained.

“Well, I don’t understand why we had to move during the summer. We could have waited until my move in day,” Clarke finally cracked a small smile as she found her headphones bundled deep within the duvet.

“I’d like to get a little head start at this new job. It’s not like Virginia, honey. Boston is a very intellectual city, and the medical centers there are some of the best in the world. Most of these doctors will be twice as smart as me, I’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”

“If those doctors were twice as smart as you, you wouldn’t have been offered a job as chief of surgery at Beth Israel,” Clarke pointed out.

Abby looked to her daughter and smiled.

“Maybe. But maybe not. Either way, it’s not hurting anyone. Plus, you can acquaint yourself with your new campus, it’ll be nice,” Abby said.

“I guess. I just don’t like leaving things behind,” Clarke said softly.

Abby moved her hand from the wheel to gently touch Clarke’s shoulder.

“You’re not leaving anything behind unless you let yourself. It’ll always be up here,” Abby said, pointing to Clarke’s head.

Clarke smiled, and snuggled herself deep into the blankets, putting on her headphones and letting herself try to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is definitely going to be a slow burn, and it'll probably be fairly painful. Just a fair warning. Please tell me what you think! I'll get another chapter or two out this week, I hope y'all like it! message me on tumblr about it, grantairedd.tumblr.com


	2. we hope that you choke

Clarke settled into her new home quickly. The city was bright and alive, and different from what she was used to. She liked having new challenges, they kept her occupied. She didn’t like to think about everything she left behind at home. College had started two weeks ago, and Clarke had already met some great people at Harvard. Her roommate Harper was great, and they both had decorated their room so it looked amazing. Twinkly lights were hung against the wall, and posters covered most of the walls. It felt a little bit like home to Clarke.

She met her mom every Sunday night for dinner, and she visited her mother’s little apartment in Brookline frequently. It was very nice for an apartment, and there was even a pull out couch for Clarke to sleep on if she wanted to spend the night.

She walked to the train, and sat quietly with her homework until she departed at the stop nearest to her mother’s home. The area where the train stop was could definitely be considered a little sketchy, Clarke gripped her bag tightly, keeping her head down to avoid making eye contact with any strangers, which worked out wonderfully, until she tried to cross the street.

A loud and long BEEP sounded as Clarke accidentally stepped in front of a huge jeep.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Clarke exclaimed, and she ran out of the car’s path. A window rolled down and the car moved forward so the passenger side window was level with Clarke’s face.

“What the hell? Haven’t you heard of looking before you cross the street?” The driver leaned over the passenger to yell at her. The poor man in the passenger seat kept his eyes closed and shook his head.

“I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking-“

“I _know_ you weren’t thinking. It’s pretty obvious from the way you walked in front of a moving vehicle!” The man moved his long hair out of his face, shaking his head angrily.

The man in the passenger seat turned to look at her with kind eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, I’m a little spooked that’s all, but I’m fine, I’ll be okay,” Clarke mumbled, and blushed a little bit.

The man reached his hand out to her. “I’m Miller, and this is Finn. I’m sorry he snapped at you, we’ve both just had a tough day. Do you need a ride somewhere?”

Clarke paused, it was a bit of a walk to her mother’s house and all of the textbooks she was carrying were kind of heavy. But a little voice in her head screamed _stranger danger! Don’t get into a car with someone you don’t know!_

“Um…” Clarke said as she weighed her options mentally.

“Come on,” Finn sighed, looking resigned. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, but if you need a ride, I’ll give you one. The last thing I need on my conscience is you walking in front another car. I don’t mind at all, if you want, we can even pick up food?” Finn looked at her almost meekly.

“Okay,” Clarke sighed, and opened up the back door and slid in. “But I want to see your driver’s license before you take me anywhere.”

Miller laughed hysterically at that and Finn grumbled but still reached in his wallet and handed her the ID. She smiled and inspected it carefully.

“Thank you, Finnigan Thomas Collins,” Clarke beamed at him as she handed his license back.

“No. Stop it. Now,” Finn groaned.

“Oh, come on, Finnigan, I’m perfectly happy to enjoy this drive with you and Miller, here. Besides, you’re an organ donor, I know I can trust you!” Clarke exclaimed, and high fived Miller.

“I literally don’t even know you!” Finn said, throwing his hands up in the air.

“But she’s better than most of the people you do know,” Miller added helpfully.

Finn rolled his eyes, and the three of them drove down the street for a minute before Miller clapped a hand to his forehead.

“Shit.”

“What is it?” Finn asked, looking concerned.

“I totally forgot, would you mind stopping by Ark Street?” Miller mumbled.

“For wh- oh! The Bellamy thing?” Finn asked.

“The Bellamy thing.” Miller confirmed.

“The Bellamy thing?” Clarke questioned.

“The Bellamy thing- I need to stop by this house really quickly and run an errand. You don’t mind, do you?” Miller apologetically said.

Clarke shook her head, and Finn pulled onto Ark Street drove into the neighborhood and parked.

The house he parked in front of was small and practically in shambled. It looked old, and Clarke assumed that no one had lived there for a very long time.

“You need to drop something off _here_?” Clarke raised her eyebrows.

“Mhm.” Miller hummed and grabbed a box sitting next to Clarke and walked outside, closing the door behind him.

“Okay. So. Want to explain this?” Clarke climbed up into the front seat with Finn.

“Explain what?” Finn said, fiddling with the radio.

“Why Miller is walking into Disney’s Haunted Mansion right here?”

“It’s just a house, Clarke,” Finn said, still avoiding eye contact.

“Bullshit. Now, please just tell me before I nag Miller to?”

Finn sighed. “It’s Bellamy’s old house. He was an old friend a few years back and he lived here. Miller was probably his best friend, or closest thing he had to one, I guess. Anyway, he died, this is his old house, that’s it.”

“Okay…” Clarke said, taking a moment to process this information. “Did you know him?”

“Yes.” Finn said briefly.

“I’m sorry. Was he your friend?” Clarke said, softening a bit.

“Not really. He never liked me much. He never liked anyone much, I think. But we did hang out with the same people, kind of. He was neighbors with my- my friend.” Finn stuttered a bit at the end.

“Oh. That’s really sad, I’m sorry. I know how much it sucks to lose someone you care about.” Clarke took a breath. “Why’s Miller visiting his house though?”

“It’s just this thing Miller does. He’s always done it. Bellamy never really got a proper grave because of how, well- uh.” Finn paused. “Well, let’s just say Bellamy never got a proper grave and leave it there. Because of that, Miller visits his house; he figures it’s the closest thing to it. He likes to leave him things sometimes.”

“Leave him things?”

“Yeah. Sometimes, it’s newspaper articles or online clippings or stuff like that. Bellamy was into all that way back when. Sometimes it’s a cookie or action figure or some other shit that reminded him of Bellamy. I don’t really know, I don’t get it. Miller’s convinced he needs to do it though, because whenever he leaves shit there, it’s gone.”

“What? That’s kind of creepy, don’t you think?” Clarke scrunched her eyebrows together.

“Eh, not really. It kind of sucks but, all the neighborhood kids think that the house is haunted or something. I mean, look at it. Also, the whole situation with his dead didn’t help to dispel those rumors. They probably dare each other to steal shit off the porch.”

“How did he die?”

Finn tensed. “Let’s not talk about that.”

“What? Wh-“

Miller threw the door open.

“Scooch on back, partner. That’s my seat,” He said, and Clarke shimmied on back.

She figured it probably wouldn’t be best to ask any other questions in front of Miller. She stole one last glance at the house before she left. It was kind of beautiful in a ruined way, she supposed. It was crumbling, but it was gothic and the ivy that trailed over the sides was pretty too. She couldn’t take her eyes away. Then the curtains shifted. And it happened.

There he was, Bellamy Blake. Standing, watching them leave. Staring right at Clarke. Clarke gasped. His eyes were red and furious. She saw the words forming on his lips, _get out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so if you can't tell, the story takes place in Brookline, right outside of Boston, but there will be scenes set in Boston too. I wanted to wait to upload this chapter then I decided to show Bellamy a little at the end there, and I figured I'd upload it. Also, would you guys like to see semi-daily short chapters or closer to weekly long chapters? I love comments and input, please tell me what you think, and follow me on tumblr at grantairedd.tumblr.com


	3. Speed the Collapse

It was early October, and a chill had started to seep into the air. Clarke started to break out all her sweaters, scarves, and jackets. She had gotten herself into the college routine and was constantly studying. Midterms were coming up soon enough, and Harvard was harder than she anticipated.

She spent many a night studying in the library with Monroe, and their two goofy friends, Jasper and Monty. She appreciated how well they all worked together, they were all focused on their grades but could have a good time too. She hadn’t gone out to too many parties, preferring to stay in and have movie nights, or go to one of the featured lectures. College had pretty much gone exactly according to plan, and for Clarke, that was just about perfect. The only real surprise had been her lasting friendship with Finn and Miller, who she never expected to see again.

Clarke had bumped into Finn once again when she was heading to a featured lecture at MIT. She felt fairly confident she could sneak in, it was the head of the local children’s hospital and the lecture was supposed to be interesting and she wasn’t about to miss it, even if it wasn’t on her campus. She walked right up to the door with confidence, faltering only when the man at the door cleared his throat and asked for her student ID. It looked like the lecture was strictly for MIT students only.

“Uh…” Clarke’s eyes darted back and forth, searching for some sort of way in.

“Oh, sorry! She’s with me, she’s my guest!” An arm wrapped around her shoulders, and she turned in surprise to see Finn.

“It’s five dollars per guest,” the man at the door instructed.

“Of course,” Finn said. Clarke reached for her wallet and Finn pushed her hand away, pulling a bill from his pocket, handing it to the man, and steering her in.

The two of them sat down and listened to the lecture, both appreciating it. They hit it off from there, and they had gone on a few dates since then. They went out to dinner every Thursday night, and they both visited the other’s dorm frequently. Finn had even attended a dinner with her mother, who took an instant liking to him. Clarke couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so content in a relationship, they were both so compatible. Finn had taken a liking to hanging out with Clarke’s friends, and she met up with him and Miller for drives around the city all the time. Clarke was in a state of bliss, and she would destroy anyone who shattered it.

__

“Hey Monroe?” Clarke asked, digging through her closet.

“Yeah?”

“What should I wear?”

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion really, I just want to be nice and surprise Finn with a visit. We don’t ever do much on the weekends, but I got my hands on this bottle of wine, and I thought it might be a cute idea to pop over with it. What do you think?” Clarke asked.

“I think it’s adorable, and he’ll love it, obviously. How could he not?” Monroe smiled at her and joined her at the closet, gently pushing Clarke away so she could pick out an outfit. Clarke moved out of the way, and sprawled onto her bed, texting Miller her plan. Miller simply replied with a string of irrelevant emojis.

“Found it!” Monroe said with a devious smile.

Clarke squealed, and jumped off the bed, eager to see Monroe’s choice. Monroe was always so well put together and she knew that she’d pick the perfect outfit.

“What is it?” Clarke said with a smile.

“This.” Monroe did the unthinkable. She held up a bra and matching panties. Both bright red lace.

“Just throw a coat over it, and you should be good,” Monroe said with a smile, crawling into her own bed. Clarke stared with her jaw dropped.

“Are you kidding?”

“Not at all, it’s a great idea, he’ll love it.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious.”

Clarke huffed. She held up the panties, contemplating them. _They would look wonderful_ …Clarke mused.

____

  
Three shots of Monty’s homemade moonshine later, Clarke was knocking on the door to Finn’s dorm. She pulled the coat tighter around her waist, shivering. Finn opened the door with a smile, ushering her in, saying _what a wonderful surprise!_ And other things like that. Clarke dropped the coat, and Finn pushed the wine bottle aside, pulling Clarke against him, which soon turned into him pulling Clarke into his bed.

After about fifteen blissful moments, everything fell apart. It all fucking shattered. Everything was a blur. Finn throwing the blankets over him and Clarke, a girl storming in and screaming, Clarke running out of the room as fast as she could, Clarke collapsing on the sidewalk, feeling empty and used. Clarke reaching into her pocket and dialing her phone, Miller’s truck pulling up and Clarke curling into a ball in the passenger seat.

___

“I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life,” Clarke choked out.

“I’m so, so sorry Clarke. I’m so sorry. He told me that him and Raven broke up about a month ago, I didn’t know,” Miller said, parking the car in front of his place.

“It’s okay Miller, it’s not your fault,” Clarke whispered, staring blankly out the window. Silence fell in the car. Miller cleared his throat.

“Clarke… why’d you call me? Why not your roommate or someone from school?” Miller seemed almost shy as he asked.

“I don’t really know. I don’t think I could have faced Monroe right after this. I don’t want someone who will feel sorry for me, I need a distraction,” Clarke said, raising her eyes to Miller. “Distract me.”

“Clarke…” Miller said, his voice filled with caution.

“Miller, please.”

“I’m not taking advantage of you when you’re like this. It’s that simple,” Miller said firmly. “Clarke, I think the best idea for you right now is to just go to bed.”

Clarke frowned, but she knew that Miller was probably right. She was exhausted, and she hadn’t been sleeping well for nights. She sighed and agreed to go to bed and Miller drove her to his house. Clarke did a double take when the car pulled up on Ark street.

“You live on this street?” Clarke asked softly.

“Yeah. I’m already assuming Finn told you about the Bellamy situation?” Miller said, pulling into his driveway, the second one down the street. The car’s noisy engine turned off and Miller focused his attention on Clarke.

“Kind of. He never really told the whole story,” Clarke admitted. Miller stepped out of the car and went around to open Clarke’s door for her.

“How do you like ghost stories?” Miller questioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, I've been pretty busy with school! I also apologize for the lack of Bellamy, but like i said, this is a slooooow burn. But next chapter will be all about him, but it'll be pretty short too, so I'll try to get it done asap. Comment and let me know what you think & follow me on tumblr at grantairedd.


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